


Sorry, but Safe

by buying_the_space_farm



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Historical, Anal Sex, John Sheppard Needs a Hug, M/M, Rodney also needs one tho, john sheppard is a martyr, kinda??? its five times John was an idiot basically and one time he promised not to be anymore, they need to kiss and make up, theyre just all sorts of confused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:28:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25464715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buying_the_space_farm/pseuds/buying_the_space_farm
Summary: John wasn't very good at this whole-- secret identity thing. He had nearly blown the secret multiple times, most especially when it came to Rodney.Moments of his secret life came and went and he regretted keeping them secret from his husband, but if it meant keeping him safe then it was what he had to do.
Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28
Collections: McShep Big Bang 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zoemathemata](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoemathemata/gifts).
  * Inspired by [It's No Better to be Safe than Sorry](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25658524) by [zoemathemata](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoemathemata/pseuds/zoemathemata). 



> zoe is the author of the fic that "inspired" this, but as I'm posting this early to a closed collection i cant say that this was inspired by it yet. so. gift work then. also! you should really read her fic "it’s no better to be safe than sorry" first! or else this wont really make sense. (will link when its published)  
> anyway: actual notes:  
> a/n: scientists werent even called scientists until 1833 so petroleum jelly can be a thing too, just because i said so. this. relates to why this fic is rated e. ;3  
> also after extensive research i KNOW its not the best lube but like. suspension of disbelief here folks, i beg of you. its not like i can have them pull out a silicone-water blend based lube and call it a day. this is a historical fic and that means historical lubes. bear with me folks bear with me. i know the common historical lube is oil but. i just couldnt do it. lube gets lost in the sheets and i didnt want poor horatio to have to deal w a huge oil spot on the bed/sheets.  
> and now that this a/n is officially longer than the summary, lets toss you into the story. enjoy.

There wasn’t any reason to say that The Falcon was an unsuccessful endeavor. John was very successful in getting the Genii scientists out of dangerous territory. It just so happened to be that his first mission was, well, embarrassing.

There was a scientist, of course, in hostile Genii territory, and John was there to rescue them but other than that, he had no idea what he was doing. None at all.

It was a disaster in the making.

The only good to come out of it was his new partnership with Teyla, who found him and the scientist on the side of the road that ran alongside the channel between Atlantean and Genii territory. He was lucky that it was someone he knew, and not anyone else. When Teyla found him and the still nameless scientist lying in the dirt, soaking wet from being plunged into the cold water of the waterway, the sympathetic look he got from her almost made him feel better. If only because now he had an ally. 

Things could get better from here,  _ would _ get better from here. 

That was what he had to believe to get through this. Without that hope, without that belief, he didn’t know that he would be able to get through this.

***

It was his wedding night. His wedding night! And he was, dare he say it, excited. Everything about this day had been damn near perfect. His act had held, Rodney had seen the glimmer of his true personality behind it, and no one had objected at their union. They had even applauded at their kiss. 

Perfection.

Lorne had just called him away but surely it was just for household matters and not Falcon business.

“Sir,” he said, voice low. “We’ve intercepted—”

It seemed that he had jinxed himself.

“No,” John interrupted. “No, I— I can’t, it’s my wedding night,” he whispered harshly, scared of his voice carrying to the room occupied by the wedding party and Rodney.

Lorne was downcast. “I’m sorry, sir, I know how important this was to you but. There are lives at stake. You can fix whatever happens between you and Mr. McKay-Sheppard later. Once these lives are lost, there is no fixing it.”

John chewed the inside of his lip, trying not to betray his inner turmoil, fists clenched at his sides. Of course something would come up tonight, of  _ all _ nights, and— and— ruin  _ everything. _

“Fine,” he said, forcing his hands to relax as he turned away from what could have been a beautiful future, or something like it. “Come on, Lorne, we have work to do.”

***

It had been a long night. 

He had gotten a mere handful of Genii scientists out, but only managed to fully smuggle one scientist fully into Atlantis. And then he had been beaten pretty severely in the process. And been shot at, of course. 

There had been a few near misses. Lorn had not been happy with him risking himself like that, as usual.

But John felt compelled to help those that couldn’t get out of something like this by themselves. There was no one else for them. Just him, and the small group he and Teyla had recruited. The Genii scientists had no one to turn to besides the Falcon, so the Falcon he must be.

He was just thankful that he had Teyla and whoever she had recruited to help him and their cause. The recent addition of a cryptographer had made it even harder for the Genii to follow his movements and he was sure that if they had caught news of what he was doing tonight, the group that met him would have been much larger. 

Regardless, last night— or really, this morning— had been a hard one. Getting shot at was never fun and broken bones even less so.

At least two of his ribs were cracked, a third was definitely broken, and it felt like his wrist had a bad sprained, and the pain all across his body throbbed in time with his heart beat. The knot on the back of his head wouldn’t stop throbbing either.

He didn’t look forward to explaining this all to his husband,. If he asked, that is.

Ever since the wedding night that turned into two weeks of running around the wilderness of the Genii homeland and Atlantis with four scientists tagging along, Rodney had been reserved, drawn away from him. Any attempts to woo him once more were met with barely disguised hostility and an icy demeanor. Rodney seemed to be happiest when John left him alone.

But he didn’t  _ want _ to leave him alone. He wanted to romance Rodney, wanted to smile and laugh with him like they had before their marriage. He wanted to not be keeping secrets from him anymore.

He forced himself to remember that it was for the best that he didn’t know, that they could work everything out once the Genii scientists were safe. Once  _ he _ was safe, and no longer under threat of gunfire every fortnight. 

He could content himself with tense breakfasts and talking mathematical theory when Rodney least expected it. 

He let his thoughts drift more until the carriage rolled to a stop and Lorne opened the door and reached out to help him out.

John batted away the hands away and stepped carefully out of the carriage, ribs protesting at him taking the large step down to the ground. 

They clattered into the kitchen and shed their dirty coats, doing well to hide their disguises in their pockets. Once everything was put away, they walked, or in John’s case, stepped carefully, into the dining room, where Horatio was sure to still have breakfast available for them.

Rodney was still at the table when they stepped through and John shot a small smile at him. He appeared more shocked at seeing him this early than anything else. 

Horatio set down the coffee pot next to Rodney and set a plate of eggs and toast in front of him.

Lorne hovered behind him and he shrugged him away when he tried to help him into his chair. He now knew that Rodney did kind of think the worst of him after their wedding night and believed him to be a fop of the worst kind but well. It helped in the long run. The hit to the back of the head also helped. When Horatio snapped the napkin open he couldn’t hold back a wince and knew it looked like he had a hangover. It certainly felt like it, and all without the fun of the night that would lead to one.

“Sir, perhaps it would be best if we retired you to your rooms,” Lorne said, and John had to fight back an eye roll.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine. You should be abed. It’s late.”

“It’s early,” John said and winked at Rodney. Maybe— no, that didn’t make him laugh, just seemed to make him more confused. 

Ah. Well. Maybe it was time to get back on script then.

It was all he had left to him.

***

John hadn’t been hurt like this in— a  _ long _ while. His ankle was sprained,  _ three _ ribs were broken, and he had a black eye.  _ And _ he had hit his head again and everything was spinning around in a truly nauseating manner.

All he wanted to do was crawl into bed and think of nothing for the remainder of the week. Well, maybe he would think about Rodney. 

He had been taking up more and more of his thought process lately and honestly, he couldn’t bring himself to mind. Rodney was his husband, and was his husband for a reason, he was allowed to think these things, wasn’t he?

At least that's what he told himself.

What he really wanted was Rodney with him, in all things. Eating dinner and breakfast with him, talking over the day’s events, going places together— really together, not just as carriage sharers like they were now— laying in bed at night, doing more than… laying in bed at night. He wanted everything that was normally on the table for married couples, and he had ruined it on their wedding night and then Rodney had reacted in, well, a completely sane manner. 

It wasn’t fair.

But it was his own fault.

He finally fell into his bed— alone— and stared at the ceiling for a long time trying to think of nothing until he finally fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is where the petroleum jelly comes in alkdjsh

Now that Rodney was finally back with him, within his reach he couldn’t help himself. 

John threw himself into a kiss with Rodney, and he heard a gasp, not sure who it came from. But Rodney he— he  _ responded _ . And it made John’s legs want to buckle and make him kneel at his feet until he was kneeling at his feet and begging for forgiveness.

But that wasn’t what they were doing right now.

John moved to make the kiss slower, softer, more full of the feelings he had for Rodney. His hands hovered over Rodney’s shoulders, almost unsure if they would be welcome. After all, touching someone in a carnal manner was completely different from kissing.

Except— those were Rodney’s hands on his waist, pulling him closer, pressing their hips together. John’s hands settled on his shoulders and trailed down his chest until he could wrap him in his arms and press them together from knee to chest. 

“Shep— John, please,” Rodney murmured, breaking the kiss for a moment. “Please, don’t leave me alone again.”

John nodded, almost frantically. “Never, never again.”

He dipped back down to kiss Rodney again and the heat that suffused the kiss was… amazing.

Kissing Rodney was the best thing he had experienced so far. Better than riding, better than math, better than anything. He never wanted to stop.

Rodney began pushing at his coat and he ached to be out of his clothes with Rodney, just skin against skin with him and hopefully, nothing would get in the way of that. 

He shrugged out of the coat under Rodney’s trailing hands. Once that garment was crumpled in a heap upon the floor, it dawned on him that Rodney should join him in the task of disrobing as well.

He set himself to the task gladly. 

Both their clothes came off in dribs and drabs as they moved towards the bed in his— their?— room, until finally,  _ finally, _ they were naked, and John wanted nothing more than to come with Rodney trailing seconds behind. It was a good image.

He pushed Rodney until the backs of his knees hit the edge of the bed and he sat down with a sharp exhalation. John was astride his lap in a moment and he ground down against him, rubbing their cocks together in the warm space between their bodies.

“John,” Rodney gasped, hands tight on his hips.

“Yes?” John replied, breath halting for a moment when Rodney moved to mouth against his neck.

“Can I— I want to— can I fuck you?” He asked, breath hot against his skin, teeth sharp as he scraped them down a tendon.

John shuddered, the image playing out in his head. Rodney stretching him, filling him, thrusting into him until he came and all of a sudden that was all he wanted.

“Yes,” he almost groaned. He reached back towards his nightstand for the petroleum jelly he kept on hand for powder burns and dry hands and thrust it into Rodney’s hand. “Use this, come on.”

Rodney maneuvered them until they were fully on the bed and he was over top John, cradled between his thighs. His eyes flicked between John’s eyes and his lips before leaning down to kiss him again. A few blissful minutes later, a hand was pressing between his legs and then further up and behind until a slick finger breached him and smoothed the petroleum around his entrance. Rodney’s hand disappeared and then he could feel the movement of him rubbing the petroleum onto his cock and then— and then—

Rodney pressed into him, inch by inch until he was in as far as he could go, their breath mixing between them and that was almost more intimate than Rodney being inside of him.

He hooked an ankle around Rodney’s thigh and urged him on. “Please,” he whispered. “Please move.”

And so Rodney did. 

Slow, rocking thrusts that sent shivers spiraling through his body until the entire room was spinning and he was gasping for breath.

Rodney’s arms framed his head and Rodney’s face filled his eyes and Rodney’s body filled his hands and everything was Rodney, Rodney, Rodney. The blue of his eyes clamored for attention against the pale smoothness of skin, so different from his own, suntanned and littered with scars and healing wounds as it was.

Rodney was safe and whole and John would make sure he stayed that way for the rest of his life. 

Rodney thrust against something inside him that shook all thoughts aside from what they were doing out of his head and John cursed, obscenities falling out of his mouth. He dropped a hand from Rodney’s hip and moved it until it was between their stomachs, cradling his cock in his palm. He started stroking slowly, not trying to match the rhythm Rodney was setting but he not-so-quietly delighted in it when they synched up, letting out low moans when it happened.

He could feel Rodney’s thrusts quickening until he was thrusting fast but still hard against him, hitting that spot inside him on virtually every other movement.

He breathed in time with Rodney’s movements, unable to do anything else when it felt like the air was almost being punched out of him every so often.

Everything was piling up until it was almost too much and— and—

“Rod-Rodney,” John said after Rodney hit the spot that made him see sparks multiple times in a row. “I’m— dear god, I’m so close.”

“Come for me,” Rodney said, leaning down to nip at his lips. “Come on.”

Rodney thrust once, twice more, and then John was coming, climaxing like he had never before. It felt like every part of his body was shattering and coming together all at once, and Rodney was still moving inside him. He jacked himself a few more times through the aftershocks and while his hand was probably clenched painfully tight on Rodney’s hip, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

With a final shiver and a great breath of air, he finished coming, after what felt like whole minutes of bliss but was probably only seconds in the scheme of things. Rodney had stopped moving, and he was almost trembling above him, muscles tight with tension.

“Can I—” Rodney’s voice broke before he could continue.

“Yes, god yes,” John replied. 

He wanted Rodney to finish inside him, mark him in a wholly primal way, and it seemed Rodney wanted that too.

With a groan, he set another slow pace, thrusts that started out slow and sped up as he got closer.

It hurt, to a degree, certain parts of him too sensitive to be touched this close to coming, but he was happy to do it for Rodney.

He tucked his head into the crook of John’s neck and mouthed there before biting down almost savagely as he came fast and sudden. He gently kissed the spot when he was done shuddering above John and John sighed in pleasure at the feeling, both the bite and the kiss.

Rodney lifted his head high enough to kiss him once more and long seconds were spent exploring each other’s mouths before he withdrew from John. He looked awkward for a moment, hovering over him like he didn’t know what to do now that they had finally consummated their marriage. John had enough after a couple of seconds and pulled him down to tuck himself into his side, ducking his head under John’s chin, head resting on his shoulder. 

He was tense for a time before JOhn’s stroking hand on his back calmed him down and he seemed to let himself go boneless, their bodies molding together on the sheets.

“You really promise to not leave me alone again? And keep me in the loop of what’s going on with Falcon business?” Rodney asked, voice soft in the now quiet room. John almost hadn’t noticed how noisy it had gotten between the two of them and their lovemaking.

He dropped a kiss on the top of Rodney’s head and held him close for a long second. “I promise. Whatever you want to know, I’ll tell you.”

“Even if you don’t necessarily want to tell me to protect me?”

“Even then.” John thought to himself that maybe keeping how he felt about Rodney didn’t count towards this promise, but that he would divulge the secret soon anyhow. Just because he felt like it.

After all, Rodney was his husband, in all ways now. He deserved to know he loved him.

John pressed another kiss into Rodney’s hair and Rodney pressed a smile into the skin under where his mouth was.

Not just yet though. They deserved an afterglow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed!


End file.
